What I want to leave behind……. and what I am looking for
The New Year is coming and I am getting ready to meet it with new hopes, with new dreams and with an open heart.
I am very grateful to the past year. It certainly was one of the hardest years in my life. It taught me lots …. Og Mandino says in his book (btw, I would recommend it everyone to read his book “The greatest seller in the world” – it is only 40 pages long but is a true treasure): “I will tolerate sorrow because it opens my soul”. It surely does. I discovered myself, my deepest most hidden feelings, my dark sides, myself inside out. I would like to thank my parents for their care and all of my friends (you know who you are) for your support, for being there for me when I needed you the most. THANK YOU!!!!!!
What I am going to leave behind….. of course Mr LJ Baldwin (or Lozzer as he called himself in one of summer emails). He is going to stay in the past. To be honest, I am still upset with him but I have forgiven him and don’t hold any anger. It took me a while (to get rid of anger fully it took me all until now, I have realised smt and now I am free!!!!). My heart is open and is full of love for other people!
I am slightly upset with him because of the his dishonesty. It makes me laugh now how naïve I was. You know, on our last Valentines Day he gave me a present and said that he got the same present for some girl from his work because she has just split up with her bf and is very upset. I thought it was incredibly cute of him to do and wished he got a present for Michelle too (she was single at the time)….. Needles to say the girl he started seeing straight after our breakup was also a girl from his work. Mmmmmm. Not such a cute gesture after all :->
I am slightly upset with him because of the his dishonesty. It makes me laugh now how naïve I was. You know, on our last Valentines Day he gave me a present and said that he got the same present for some girl from his work because she has just split up with her bf and is very upset. I thought it was incredibly cute of him to do and wished he got a present for Michelle too (she was single at the time)….. Needles to say the girl he started seeing straight after our breakup was also a girl from his work. Mmmmmm. Not such a cute gesture after all :->
Anyways, I learnt many many lessons with him. He is out from my life so he is going to stay in the past.
I am enjoying the reality – my wandering reality :-> I have few plans and ideas to what I would like to happen next. I also have a dream. Would you like to hear about it?
I would like to live with my half in an eco-friendly house, surrounded by about one hectare of land. Beautiful trees will grow around as our fence such as oak, cedar, walnut tree, pine tree and etc. I will plant various flowers around our house – camomiles, forget-me-not, poppies, roses, buttercups, snowdrops and lots more. Plus we are going to grow some vegetables and have fruit trees. This will be our space of love.
Why? I idealise many things and I want the best. This is the best way to live (for me at least) - to be surrounded by picturesque nature – so that myself and my half can breathe fresh air, drink clean water, eat healthy organic food and have huge playground for our babies. Of course, we will continue working in the town and live in this countryside house (hopefully two locations are going to be near).
Why? I idealise many things and I want the best. This is the best way to live (for me at least) - to be surrounded by picturesque nature – so that myself and my half can breathe fresh air, drink clean water, eat healthy organic food and have huge playground for our babies. Of course, we will continue working in the town and live in this countryside house (hopefully two locations are going to be near).
You may ask whether I have found my half yet? Not yet. My knight is in my dreams for now. He will be my god and I will be his goddess. We are going to meet soon – thoughts materialise. Tell me, my friends, what are you dreaming of? What are you expecting from the next year/future life?
posted by :-> @ 1:42 PM
1 Comments:
What am I dreaming of?
Well pretty much the same, but with a 22 yard strip of land to put a cricket net in. That will be my other 'place of love'.
2007 will bring you everything you dream of, or at least, the beginnings of it...
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